Abstract
Personal advice, including relationship advice, now ranks among the most common uses of generative AI. But language models (LMs) exhibit sycophancy: they affirm users much more often than humans do, which can make people overconfident and less willing to repair their relationships after a conflict. Prior work on mitigating sycophancy has focused on factual settings where a response can be checked against a ground truth answer, while mitigations for social sycophancy (e.g., personal advice, where there is no ground truth) have relied on simple prompting and post-training methods with limited effectiveness. Our insight is that social sycophancy occurs in part because LMs overly center on the user and fail to consider the perspectives of other stakeholders impacted by the user's behavior. To address this problem we propose Pluralistic Preference Optimization (PlurPO): given inputs describing interpersonal conflicts, the LM identifies and simulates the relevant stakeholders, and is then trained to prefer and generate responses acceptable to all stakeholders. PlurPO uses only signals the model produces about its own outputs, without ground-truth labels. PlurPO substantially reduces social sycophancy across four datasets and four model families compared to prior methods. For example, on statements of intent to cause harm, where the users' actions should not be endorsed, PlurPO reduces the endorsement rate by 89% on average across four models. On general advice questions, where the target is to match the endorsement rate of human responses, it closes the gap by more than half, from 17.8% to 8.0% on average. The preference dataset constructed by PlurPO for an 8B model also effectively transfers to mitigating sycophancy in a larger (32B) model. Our results indicate that social sycophancy can be reduced by leveraging a model's own capabilities to simulate a plurality of relevant perspectives.
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URL
https://arxiv.org/abs/2610.02568
